Life

What are we...spirit and soul with a little outer covering to protect us from the elements?  A collage of hopes and dreams intricately meshed with flesh and bone, a being of earth; a touch of heaven within us.... casting about for the right path to follow that will lead us to where those dreams lie?   Some of us seem to crash through life, moving as fast as we can, never looking at the consequences, or noticing what we've missed in our hurry to find self.  Others creep along, always finding a reason to stop for a while, afraid of our next step, lest we fall into some unseen crevasse.  We seem to be born knowing all (look into a baby's eyes);  go through a gradual process of forgetting; only to start all over with this confusing process of learning how to live.  We go about our lives jumping for joy one moment and then falling into the abyss the next,  merely to start climbing out once again, searching for that place of peace, safety, contentment and...dare I say it..Joy ( not to be confused with happiness).  What  have I learned in my journey thus far?  The heart has a tremendous capacity...for healing, for forgiving, for loving, for searching out the truth.  I am thankful that my life has not been "perfect".  I am thankful that while dealing with my own personal demons, I have learned.  What?  How to treat others; patience (sometimes); tolerance (except at Walmart); forgiveness;  that it's NOT all about me;  that laughter truly is the best medicine; that decisions I make have consequences.  I have learned (and this is the most important)  that nobody can save me from myself except me.  That's my task.(with a little help [no, a lot of help] from God).   I have run the gamut of emotions;  from confusion, to anguish, to anger, to forgiveness, to peace and finally to freedom.....( I do find myself backing up a few steps from time to time, but I try to forgive myself for it).   I have come to believe that whatever we need, ultimately we get...it's just that sometimes what we need and what we want are two different animals.  I am thankful that God gives me what I need rather than what I want. (although if He chooses to give me what I want..I'll gladly accept it).   After all it is He who sees the BIG PICTURE.  The pain that accompanies our life lessons is well worth the lesson learned, ONLY if we truly learn it.   I know I'll fall into a few more abyss(es) before it's over.  But, I think it is a necessary and natural progression which allows us to find our own salvation and become the people we were intended to be...in the BIG PICTURE of life.  Find yourself!  Hello?