Something smells like Poop!

It all started so well.......I actually get up early, let both dogs out...they have to go out seperately, lest they lead each other astray...feed them, seperately, of course, lest they bicker.  I clear the pizza boxes off the counter and the coke cans and beer bottles off the coffee table, get dressed (in like..real clothes, you know, the ones you'd wear to nice places, or to work in my case,  definitely not Walmart attire). But this blog is not about Walmart...I think I'm not yet ready to write about Walmart without ranting or cursing...or both.  That's another blog.  Anyway, feeling really good I  get out of the house by 8, have plenty of time to get to my first meeting at 8:30.  My first stop, however, is the gas station since I've been running on empty for two days and think that I am probably pressing my luck.  I swear I never do this, but TODAY I decide while there to actually clean off my windshield.  I start scrubbing it and I notice this smell......this awful , disgusting...sickening ...smell...like.. dog poop.  Looked on the bottom of both shoes..all is well, but still the smell persists.  It's the solution in the cleaner! Somebody has sabotaged it (were they waiting for me?)  Are they watching from around the corner?  Across the road?  Paranoia sets in.  I try not to look around and quickly throw the scrubber thingy back into the bucket, get my receipt and start on my way without glancing back.  Once inside the car however, I smell it again.  Almost have a wreck  trying to look at the bottom of my shoes (again) while dodging an 18 wheeler in a construction zone....nothing.  After driving about twenty minutes the odor becomes less noticable, and I kind of forget about it.  I go to my meeting, then to another, to the bank, to the post office, to pack and mail, the health food store, and  finally to the grocery store.  Each time I get into the car I smell it, but within a few minutes it  dissipates.  Okay.  So, I get home and yell up the stairs for my son to get the groceries out of the car for me.  As soon as he comes down he says  "something smells like dog sh*t.  Do you smell it?"  So I look at my shoes once again.  Nothing.  This is getting serious in my mind now,  so I  inspect myself more closely.  There are two small water spots on the side of my pants leg just above the knee.  You know, the water..THAT water..... from the gas station...early this morning.  These spots smell like.... (yep).   .  My mind does a quick recap of the day...you know, who all I saw and where I went.  Maybe if I cut my hair and dye it black nobody will recall the lady who smells like dog poop.  Ya think?